Why I'm Okay with the Unthinkable

Losing a child is never easy on anyone. I lost my beloved Dylan to leukemia, a pain that no parent should ever have to endure. It’s a journey through grief that feels insurmountable, yet here I am, finding ways to be okay with the unthinkable. How am I okay? It's the signs. The daily reminders that Dylan is still with me, just in a different form.

Signs from Dylan

Every day, I receive signs that remind me of Dylan's presence. Feathers, coins, the number 27, butterflies—you name it, and I see it. These are not mere coincidences but heartfelt messages from Dylan, letting me know he is near. It’s as if he’s telling me, “I’m still here, Mom, just on the other side.” This constant communication brings immense comfort, making me believe that he isn't that far away after all.

Open to Receiving

Being open to receiving these signs has been a crucial part of my healing process. It requires a shift in mindset, an openness to the possibility that those we love never truly leave us. Dylan’s signs are a testament to the bond we share, one that transcends physical presence. He still communicates with his loved ones, and these signs are his way of reaching out to me, reassuring me that he’s still watching over us.

A Short Time, A Deep Impact

Perhaps Dylan wasn't meant to be on earth for long. Maybe his purpose was different, more profound than I can comprehend. Was my role as his parent only meant to last 18 years? These questions linger in my mind, often without answers. Yet, I find some solace in the belief that his brief time here had a unique and powerful purpose. He taught me love, resilience, and the essence of life in ways I could never have imagined.

The Reality of Acceptance

Accepting this reality is what keeps me going daily. It’s not about forgetting or moving on, but about integrating Dylan’s spirit into my everyday life. The signs I receive are a lifeline, a daily reminder that love transcends all boundaries, including death. Dylan’s purpose, though not fully understood, continues to unfold in my life, guiding me through the darkest days.

Finding Peace

In the midst of my grief, I have found a semblance of peace. It’s a peace that comes from knowing that Dylan’s spirit is eternal, that he is with me in every feather, every coin, every butterfly, and every number 27 that crosses my path. It’s a peace that allows me to live each day with the hope and certainty that our bond is unbreakable.

Moving Forward

While I may never fully understand why Dylan's time here was so short, I find strength in the signs he sends. They are my lifeline, my daily reminders that he is still here, guiding me, loving me, and waiting for me on the other side. It is this belief that keeps me going, that makes the unthinkable bearable.

Dylan's life, though brief, was filled with meaning and love. His presence continues to light up my world, reminding me that he is never truly gone. In accepting these signs and embracing the connection we still share, I find the courage to face each day with hope and resilience.

George's Compass: Navigating Grief

To help guide parents through the unthinkable, I wrote George's Compass: How to Navigate Grief. This book is designed with parents in mind, offering a compass to steer through the storm of losing a child. It's a journey no one should have to take alone, and my hope is that by sharing my experiences and insights, I can help others find their own signs, their own sources of strength, and ultimately, their own paths to healing.