Healing Isn’t Linear: Embracing Obstacles on the Journey

Life is full of obstacles. Some are small, some are heavy, and some feel like walls so high you wonder if you’ll ever climb over them. When grief is part of your journey, those obstacles often feel bigger, heavier, and endless.

So, what do we do with them? Do we avoid them? Pretend they’re not there? Or… do we face them, knowing that even if we can’t move them today, maybe tomorrow we’ll have the strength to try?

Here’s the truth: going over an obstacle doesn’t mean grief disappears. Grief doesn’t work that way. It’s not a finish line you cross. There will always be obstacles, because healing is a lifelong journey.

But what if some days, you do climb over one? What if you find yourself walking through a day with a little more ease, a little more strength, a little more hope? That’s growth. That’s healing step by step, moment by moment.

And then there will be days when the obstacle feels so big, so heavy, that you can’t move it at all. Those days matter too. Those days aren’t failure. They’re part of the process. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is to simply honor where we’re at. To say, “Today, this is too much. And that’s okay.”

I know this because I’ve lived it. After losing my son Dylan, I came face-to-face with obstacles I never thought I’d survive. Some days, I did find strength. I’d take a walk, breathe deeply, find meaning, and even see a bit of light. Other days, I couldn’t move at all, and the obstacle sat heavy in front of me. For a while, I thought those days meant I was failing. But I’ve come to understand they mean I’m human.

Growth mindset isn’t about always being strong. It’s about knowing that strength looks different every day. Sometimes it’s climbing over the obstacle. Other times, it’s resting beside it until you’re ready.

So, when obstacles come, don’t judge yourself for how you respond. Some days you’ll welcome them. Some days you’ll avoid them. Both are part of healing. What matters is that you keep walking the path, even if it’s one small, shaky step at a time.

Because every step—even the hard ones—are leading you forward.

"Today, ask yourself: what small step can I take, even if it’s just breathing deeply or noticing a moment of light?"

Walking with you,

Amanda 💛

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I’d love to hear your story. Share a moment of strength or hope in your grief journey in the comments or by reaching out—I’m here to listen.

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